24 cards across four suits. Notice · Show Up · Repair · Choose. Print, cut, keep in your room.
After hanging out, do you feel bigger or smaller? The honest answer tells you who's real.
1-3 inner-circle, 5-15 outer-circle. Both are real friendship. Don't expect inner-circle behavior from outer-circle friends.
When you do well, are they happy for you, or weird about it? Real friends are happy.
When the cool kids are around, does this person still act like your friend? Loyalty matters more than coolness.
Can you be your real self with this friend, or do you have to fake parts? Real friends like the real you.
You don't need ONE best friend. Multiple real friends, none ranked, is healthier than one ranked top friend.
When a friend is sad, sick, new, or scared — be there. You don't have to fix it. Just be present.
Trust starts small. Don't tell other kids what your friend told you in private.
"You have spinach in your teeth." "That joke wasn't kind." Real friends help each other look and act their best.
When they win something, be happy out loud. No competition face. Their win isn't your loss.
Their game, then yours. Their topic, then yours. Real friendship has room for two.
The pet's name. The favorite snack. The thing they were nervous about. Remembering is how friends say "you matter."
What I did + how it affected you + what I'll do different. "I'm sorry I told everyone — that was your private thing — I won't share your stuff again."
"I'm sorry if you felt hurt" is fake. "I'm sorry I did X" is real. The if-apology means you don't think you did anything wrong.
After a fight: ask "how did that feel for you?" and listen without defending. The listening is most of the repair.
When a friend is being mean to someone else, say it quietly. One of the most powerful sentences a kid can say.
If they really apologize and really change, you can forgive. You don't have to forget. But you can let the friendship be repaired.
If a "friend" keeps doing the hurtful thing after you've talked about it, the friendship might be over. That's painful. It's also okay.
Most adults wish they\'d learned this earlier. Quality of friendship matters more than the count.
Pick one kid you don't know well yet. Ask them a real question. See what happens. Friendship usually starts with one moment of curiosity.
Parents who know your friends can help you when friendship is hard. Even if it feels awkward, naming your friends to a safe grown-up is a real adult-level move.
Friendships shift as you grow. Sometimes that\'s good. Sometimes it\'s sad. Both can be true.
Be the kid who says "want to sit with us?" The new kid you welcomed at 9 could be your best friend at 25. Real story, real often.
The fastest way to have real friends is to be one. Show up, keep secrets, cheer out loud, take turns. Real friends find each other.